Every parent wants the best for their children. But does that essentially mean even making their life decisions for them when they grow into adults?
Youngsters have spoken out about their parents or guardians deciding the course of their professional careers and how it has impacted them. Srishti Shetty (26, Bengaluru), a business analyst by profession says, “I just quit my job a few months ago after deciding that this career wasn’t for me. I have always been passionate about writing but was never able to pursue my dreams because of the pressure from my family and the way they viewed liberal arts. Even though I feel like I’m a little late, I am not discouraged to start over and do what I really want, now that I can make my own decisions. I feel so much better and I can’t wait to begin my new chapter”
It is often seen that many parents push their children towards pursuing their degrees in medicine, law or engineering. Some parents begin to dream of it even before the child is born, deciding in advance. To draw a pop culture reference, let’s look at the movie ‘3 Idiots’ which blew up not only in India but all around the world for its message that everyone has different potential. The movie brought out the social pressure under the fast-paced Indian education system in the most satirical way to convince the audience that engineering was not the only career choice available to students. Yet, some still struggle to pursue their dreams despite the massive impact the movie has had on the Indian audience.
In some cases, young women are threatened with a marriage or pressured into making the decision instead of being allowed to choose a professional career path. And this could perhaps be attributed to the fact that it is still a stereotypical approach in some families in the country. When a girl reaches a certain age, she is “expected” to be interested in a suitor rather than her own career. It reaches a point where grandparents, uncles, aunts and a whole lot of relatives she barely knows, start to have an opinion on her life.
Children should be allowed the liberty to make their own choices and their own mistakes to learn from. Sometimes, it may be that the parent is apprehensive due to their own mistakes from the past. They might offer their advice on what worked and what didn’t in their case. But as parents, you have to remember that the world is constantly changing and evolving. A fashion magazine writer that had not much scope 30 years ago, would probably be thriving in a well-paid position today. Times have made it possible for everyone to pursue something they love.
For instance, I had always been the rebellious one in my family and wanted to pursue a degree in business & marketing during the initial stages of my shipping career. But due to familial pressure, I chose to major in marine engineering and then went on to do my certifications in New Zealand. But my heart was elsewhere. I could not achieve that dream at the time from all the peer pressure I was facing. Now when I look back, I spent an extra 5 years of my life to finally make a change. If there was one thing, I’d learn from today’s Gen Z is their ability to freely say ‘No’ and not feel guilty about it.
I’m sure there are many like me, many who would have loved to change paths. Remember, it is never too late. With a lot of introspection, guidance and research you can turn things around even after decades of being in the same career. You can read more about this on my other blog ‘10 questions to ask yourself before changing your career’.
Now that we’ve discussed what parents shouldn’t do while their children choose careers, what should they do instead?
First things first, parental guidance is always appreciated. Parents must guide their children but never force them into taking up a career they’re not interested in. They must understand that their children also have minds of their own along with dreams and aspirations they wish to fulfil. Parents must remember that the world has changed and let go of their ignorance to welcome the new ways of the world.
With age comes experience, surely. And children are allowed to make their own mistakes and have their own learnings in their journey. They must achieve growth through their own experiences. As hard as it is for parents to sit back, it is crucial that they allow their children to take over the reins of their life and support the career choices they make. After all, parents want their children to be happy and successful, and this seems to be the only way. This is all we’ve got for today. Keep watching this space for more blogs on career advice!
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